The branches were stark against the sky. Brittle and sugar coated, they stretched out like sketches of frost on a cloudy, black window. The air was cold, and a slight breeze swirled the gently falling snow, but somehow it was humid and sticky, coating his skin like heat and blood.

He stared up at the branches, slow breath spreading out about him, creating a halo of ice around his hair and a mist to view the sky through.

We've done our cold time, you and I
Fought off the raging of this northern sky

The snowflakes looked like falling stars, safe and silver in their ethereal light. Fragile crystals caught on the bare branches of the tree, the shroud of green which by summer they were concealed abandoned, and
their structure to the world reviled.

Nothing moved and all was calm, and he stood there, eyes on the sky, and snow falling on his still form.

And heaven knows I wanna compare the ocean to your eyes
Baby, let's fly

Snowflakes littered in his hair, giving it an icy glow in the cold night.

Snow swirled around his legs, and his long black coat billowed like folded, ebony wings, or the cloak of a mystic hero.

Doin' hard time, day to day
Huddled beneath this winter sun all frozen gray

His eyes, his enchanting, changing, alien eyes were a stormy gray, iron ice and granite.

Lose your freedom while you watch the season slip away
But not today

It hurt.

It hurt so much.

It burnt like a white-hot coal in his throat. At its hottest after the flames had died.

It raged in his stomach, and the fire was blue.

It made him cold.

Cold and dead. Colder than the winter wind that brushed past his marble skin. He looked cadaverous and wraith-like by the silver moonlight and the shadows cast upon his sharp, elfin features.

The deep eyes and defined cheekbones threw his gaze into darkness as he watched the white fall from the black.

Livin' in the darkness, baby
Comin' all undone

He had seen him today. Seen his father staring at the children in the park. A sorrow filled, wistful expression replacing the usual impassive mask. It hurt.

He stood right by him, and when he made his presence known, his father had turned, and the expression of love had vanished and had been replaced by one of hatred.

He had tortured him. Tortured him and enjoyed it.

And now, now he had the audacity to stand before him and think of his son with love and hope.

Here I am, father.

What will you do now?

Surprise.

Been a cruel December
Now we're praying for the sun

He had placed his hands on his shoulders and told him he was proud of him. Told him he that had a destiny and that he was created for a purpose.

Then he had left, taking with him the dreams and hopes that he had let torment him. He had said that he was no longer of him; that he would lose that which had so defined him and confused him and was as much a part of him as the love he so desperately sought.

He had held his hands, joined them with his, and had brought forth that which he had forced himself to hide in a flash of light.

He had said it was gone.

By the time the storm blows in
We could be long gone

He didn't believe it

Baby, let's get lost 'till the days get long.
Just you and I

He could still feel it.

Could feel it deep in his bones, in his heart and in his soul.

He was who he was.

And he hurt.

Who was he?

His hands clenched and spread out, the first sign of life, other than the constant icy mist that blew out from his face, that he had betrayed.

A snowflake landed on his cheek, and slowly melted, running down his pale skin to his shirt collar where it soaked into the fabric.

He was confused, but his mind was numb, unwilling, unable, to battle with the dark dance of betrayal and intrigue that so determine his life.

His mind was young, and his needs were young, but he was not young.

Not any more.

Frost on the outside brings a chill within
Seems like we hide out hearts away when the days get dim

He was old now, old and tired, with a long, gray road ahead of him.

He was cold.

He didn't care anymore. Didn't let himself care anymore.

Too many people got hurt.

He got hurt.

~I do enjoy my work . . . if ever you lose your way my son . . . I am proud of you. . .~

He couldn't let people see him hurt. Couldn't let them see the fresh swell of blood that emerged each time one of their careless words and actions struck his shields or the shields of others.

Couldn't let them see how much more it hurt when he himself did so to those around him.

Let's shake it off, let's shake it off
We're not the kind to just give in

He pressed his hands together, the sudden movement shaking free a shower of snow.

He turned them over and looked down at the palms, at the faint reddish mark that he had been so certain had disappeared, and so certain would disappear after his father had.

They hadn't.

The stars glimmered silver in the sky.

The stars glimmered silver in his hands.

He clenched his fists, frozen fingers protesting against the move, but their cries falling upon heedless ears.

He drew a shuddering breath, the calm, stoic vigil of before vanished.

Pressing his lips together, small sounds escaped his throat, whimpering, painful, crying sounds.

The moon shone down through the frozen branches, and lit his face and his gaze with its silver eye.

Moisture built in his eyes, betraying the storm inside, and two tears slipped down his face.

The wind brushed them away, carrying them with the snow in the cold, black sky.

They shimmered like little bits of lightning. Like flashes of the energy his father had said was gone.

The energy he still felt inside.

So let's begin

Livin' in the darkness, baby
Comin' all undone
Been a cruel December
Now we're praying for the sun
By the time the storm gets here
We could be long gone
Baby, let's get lost till the days get long
Just you and I

He closed his eyes, the beads of salt water on his eyelashes pressing against each other and falling down his warm cheeks.

He spread his hands wide, arching the fingers slightly around his burning palms.

He could feel it, burning under his skin, churning with the pent up emotions, demanding to be freed.

Voices in your head say stay
I can hear them, too

He wanted to let it out. Wanted to let it all out.

Wanted to scream to the cold, uncaring sky.

This is who I am!!!

Who I am!

I am!

I am and you cannot make me hide.

I am and you cannot take my freedom.

I am and you cannot force me to be who I am not.

I am and I am lost.

I am and I need help.

I am and I love you.

I am and I will fight.

I am and I will pray.

I am and I will be myself.

I am and you cannot change me, cannot take anything of me from me, cannot redefine me or augur me for a fate not of my making.

You cannot stop me, because, above all, I am.

But those doubts will fade away
In our room with a view

A wail rose from him, high and pained, forcing its way out of his tight, tear suppressing throat, and past his clenched teeth, bared at the world.

He drew a deep breath, jaw dropping and eyes relaxing, their closure more an expression of lassitude than a futile attempt at blocking out the dark. For, when you close your eyes, it is darker still.

From his palms shone a light.

Pure white, lethal white, grace white.

I am.

He slowly closed his fingers into fists, not the fists he made when he was scared or threatened. Fists that held promise and hope.

There's a sweet breeze blowing somewhere, baby
All you gotta do

The moon shone down on him, and the twin moons in his hands shone back.

Tears fell down his pained face, but the full lips were curved ever so slightly, and the eyes flickering beneath the lids were the gray of early morning, the one that proceeded dawn.

The light in his palms flared briefly, forcing his hands wide, and rippled under his skin, a wave of energy and gentle white chaos.

Is tell me that's it's time to go
And I'll be there with you

He twisted his head, capturing the glow and sending it back.

The pools of fire in his palms burned, their gentle waves lapping against his skin, snaking up his fingers and down again to return to their center.

He was who he was.

I am who I am.

Guide my soul until morning.

Been a cruel December
Now we're praying for the sun
By the time the storm rolls in
We could be long gone
Baby, let's get lost 'till the days get long
Just you and I

He opened his eyes and met the moon's gaze, blurred through the swirling snow and dimmed stars. Framed by the icy branches of the tree.

In the sky shone the reflected silver light of the moon.

Under his skin shone the pure white light of himself; neither one species nor the other, nor one caught in between.

Simply one who was.

A chimera in moonlight.

Done our cold time
So lets fly
Done our cold time
You and I
Done our cold time
Baby, let's fly

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