She's All I Ever Had

It was May the 20th. There was a hidden meaning to this date but he was too busy to think about it. Zo’or wanted those test results. As quickly as possible.

Sandoval sighed. He checked the data he needed and got down to arrange a report.

Routine, day in, day out. Reports for Zo’or, reports for Da’an. Conferences with Kincaid. Paperwork. An appointment with a politician here, a conference with some company associate there. Protection for Zo’or on this conference and that one.

A day like any other, this 20th of May.

Sometimes he wished his CVI would be working normally. Then he would love to work for the Taelons. He would be enthusiastic instead of faking it. With his malfunctioning CVI he had to pretend he loved his work, even when everything made him sick.

Two hours later

The report had been delivered. Zo’or had been in his worst mood. Again. Looked like Da’an had thwarted one of his many plans. Again.

Tired, Sandoval got into his car and drove home. During his ride he watched the people around him.

That woman with the two little kids on the backseat that made her life a hell.

The couple at the subway station that argued about something. It looked like everybody was in a bad mood today.

At a traffic light a VW Beetle, painted in every color of the rainbow stopped next to him. The people inside the car that seemed to be a relict from the last century looked like having a lot of fun. Loud music boomed out of the open windows.

Sandoval looked up. That song seemed familiar.

Here I am
Broken wings
Quiet thoughts
Unspoken dreams
Here I am
Alone again
And I need her now
To hold my hand

Sandoval groaned. May the 20th. Their wedding day. How could he forget?

Today was the anniversary of the most important day in his life. More important than the Taelon’s arrival, more important that the day he had received his CVI.

This thought sent a cold shiver down his spine. The day everything had changed. The day HE had changed. The day he had betrayed everything that was sacred to him.

~*~*~
Somehow he managed to get home in one piece. There he dropped into an armchair and let himself be carried away by his thoughts and memories.

The lyrics of that song at the traffic lights swirled around in his thoughts over and over again.

Here I am
Broken wings
Quiet thoughts
Unspoken dreams
Here I am
Alone again
And I need her now
To hold my hand

Chorus:
She's all, she's all I ever had
She's the air I breathe
She's all, she's all I ever had

It's the way she makes me feel
It's the only thing that's real
It's the way she understands
She's my lover, she's my friend
And when I look into her eyes
It's the way I feel inside
Like the man I want to be
She's all I ever need

So much time
So much pain (but)
There's one thing
That still remains (It's the)
The way she cared
The love we shared
And through it all
She's always been there

She's all, she's all I ever had
In a world so cold, so empty
She's all, she's all I ever had

It's the way she makes me feel
It's the only thing that's real
It's the way she understands
She's my lover, she's my friend
And when I look into her eyes
It's the way I feel inside
Like the man I want to be
She's all I ever need

But it was too late. Dee Dee was dead.

His face wet with tears he collapsed in his chair and wept himself to sleep.

Somewhere else

Somewhere else Dee Dee Sandoval sat at a small table in a small café and leafed through the pages of a small photo album. It contained the only pictures that reminded her of her former life: Her Wedding photo, a pic of Ron, when he finally got his final exam as a lawyer, a pic of her parents. Today it seemed to contain only the wedding photo.

But there was no use brooding over something, that didn’t exist any more. For her, Ron had died the day he had started to work for the Taelons.

Resolutely, she closed the album, stood up and paid. But whoever would look into her face would see tears in her eyes.

The End